martes, 28 de febrero de 2017

Is Vandalism Really that Bad?

Vandalism is a highly underrated form of job creation if you think about it. I know it is not politically correct to say so... but it is totally true. Let's say you see a Mercedes Benz S500, or a Bentley, or a Ferrari.... it has to be a good and expensive car. You see one of those cars and decide that you should introduce it to your Dodge Dart's car key... well someone has to fix it. Someone has to paint it, someone has to make the paint, someone has to sell you the paint and someone has to fix any deep scratch on the actual surface.

Now of course you are not going to do this to a fucking Toyota Corolla or a Hyundai Accent. You have to do it to an expensive car, because if they have the money for a Bentley, then they have the money for a paint job. What, did you expect the guy driving a 1999 Kia to be able to spend the money right away? No, that guy may not even fix it at all! The rich guy though, he does not want to drive around with three different key scratch lines that you made with your key while circling it 3 times at the paring lot of Sachs.

So do your part and help the economy by scratching the shit out of a rich cocksucker’s car. While you’re at it, throw a brick through the fucking front windshield... Those people who change car windows need to feed their families too. And since they keep insisting that the minimum salary should not be raised, the least you can do is help your fellow men. You will be a hero of the people.

miércoles, 27 de julio de 2016

On Guns, God and Kinder Eggs

One of these is SUPER dangerous
Did you ever wonder why is it that a couple of kids choke on Kinder eggs and they ban Kinder eggs altogether, but if there is a mass shooting a day in the US the best the government can do is send their “thoughts and prayers”?

That's all they do! Every time that there is a mass shooting in America you will hear a bunch of politicians talking about how we need to pray more. Well they have been praying for decades ad the problem has only gotten worse which can mean one of two things: either prayer does not work, or the giant man in the sky is a massive prick. Which one is it?

You would think that an all powerful god would listen to years of prayers from his believers and go “well, maybe I can make everyone asshole with a gun miss”, but he doesn't. Christians tell me that god listens to prayers, but if he is real AND really listens to prayers then he must be enjoying the show. Which is fine by me because I like me some good violence on TV from time to time.

But stop this “thoughts and prayers” bullshit already. Clearly there is no one on the other side of the line listening. So now it comes to politicians who say that Kinder eggs are too fucking dangerous and o one, NO ONE should be able to have them, but guns are something that everyone should have. When was the last time that someone threw a bunch of Kinder eggs to a group of school kids and took them all out? It does not happen with Kinder eggs, but it happens with guns.

But that is what the government always does; they pretend that they care about your kids so they will ban the most innocent shit they can, because after all kids do not send them money so that they can stay in power. Cigarettes have all kids of chemicals that can give you cancer and make you a miserable son of a bitch, but all they did was stamp a label on it. A label that is supposed to protect you, but in fact protects the ones that keep the politicians in power... the big companies.

Think about it

They are making you addicted to a product, but then they put a sticker on it that says that if you consume that product that you will get cancer... but you are addicted to it so it is very difficult to quit. Then you get cancer and try to sue them and their response in court is “well we told him that he could get cancer if he used this product”. So why not just put a label on Kinder eggs? Because the Kinder eggs lobby is not as powerful as the tobacco lobby, that's why.

Guns are even worse because they are designed to shoot and kill things, but guns can be marketed to kids and there is no problem with that? There are guns called Cricket and those are guns specially designed and decorated for the future mass murderer in your home. You would think that people would be outraged, but not eve a fucking label on those guns. What the fuck is going on here? Could it be the gun lobby ad all the dirty money they send to politicians?

I know what some of you are thinking, that the second amendment protects the right to bear arms... it does so... for a well regulated militia. You did not read that part, did you? Well it was not convenient. The Declaration of Independence says that every person has the right to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness; well where is my right to the liberty to be happy by eating a Kinder egg?